Dear Management,
Over the course of this past week, you have sallied forth with nonstop mutterings. I am disappointed because most of what we have overheard has been very judgemental.
Nevertheless, in response, I take the high road and refrain from passing judgement. I will, however, defend our position as neutrally as possible.
Firstly, the felines in this establishment understand our responsibility vis-a-vis the delicate predator/prey relationship.
Secondly, we admit to our "recent sloppy, pitiful mousing" (did I quote you correctly?) if you admit to your role in undermining the situation.
Tiggy was on that mouse under the plant stand. He'd have succeeded in waiting it out too. You, however, moved the stand and allowed it to escape. We also know there was a second mouse under the microwave. I was on that one. But, you of course, had to move that stand as well!
You screaming "Get the mousies! Get the mousies!" confused poor grandma into thinking you were yelling at her. Of course, grandma teatering off balance from whipping off her slipper and whacking after the escaping mousies, threw everyone's game off.
Which meant we now had two baby mice on the run with grandma swinging her slipper and you running poor interference, shouting plays at us. How many times do I have to remind you, "UNCLE KEAKS CAN'T HEAR?!?"
I waited almost all day by the china hutch for the mice to come out.
Your glueboards were insulting AND redundant!
Next time, don't have a bedtime snack and you'll not chance upon our "**Half (rhymes with) Mast** work." Tiggy was on that mousie....AGAIN! You could have turned around and pretended you never saw it lolling by the pantry. Oh no, you had to grab a glueboard, corner it, and scoop it up. Duh!...Einstein....
G-L-U-E-B-O-A-R-D?
We're sorry about the outcome...
We know you prefer to catch and release!
Next time, a little self-restraint on your part AND we will put the sloppy work behind us!
Yours Purrfully,
Noll, Tiggy, Keaks, & Luigi (who was noticeably absent during the event)
