As of late, Uncle Keaks has been acting like the troll under the bridge.
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Except it's not so much a bridge as it is stairs.
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But it's the best visual I can give you.
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Verily, like the Billy Goats Gruff, in order to pass by, one must pass over; as in the next step down or up depending on which way you're going; cause he ain't moving! We cats are nimble enough. The humans are another matter.
---Now, you could blithely rejoin with:
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Keekerwee, Keekerwee
Let me pass by
Pretty please, pretty please
There's a crunchy
Temptation in it for thee.
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But he's a little hard of hearing, so save your breath.
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Forcibly nudging Keaks off works 30% of the time. The other 70% gets you on to the next step - because that is as far as he'll move. The 70% factor is typically in play if your hands are full of laundry. Nudging also provokes biting 15% of the time. However, since he is more feisty in the morning, biting occurs 35% more often when the nudge is between 6:00 AM and 8:00 AM. So, unless you're quick with the mathematics, don't employ the nudging strategy. Just remember:
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Keaks is like a slinky except he's got no slink.
---Instead, treat the troll situation like a game of chess and execute d7 to e4.
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Pick up and move the "White King" down seven and over 4.
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Oh, and since you're near the pantry now, a treat would be nice.
